


The Inexplicable Agony Of Making A Valentine's Day Card

by ruff_ethereal



Category: Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero
Genre: F/M, One-Sided Attraction, Threats of Violence, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 10:26:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4218192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruff_ethereal/pseuds/ruff_ethereal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sashi makes a Valentine's Day card for Penn as an attempt to confess her feelings for him.</p><p>Thinks don't exactly work out as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Inexplicable Agony Of Making A Valentine's Day Card

**Author's Note:**

  * For [radiowrittenheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiowrittenheart/gifts), [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> For eliridis on tumblr.

“Boone, if you don't shut up right now, I will rip off your flip-flops and choke you to death with them.”

The smile on Boone's face disappeared, the not-quite-good-natured teasing stopped, and all was peaceful at the front of Middleburg High once more. I glared at him for good measure, then turned my attention to a more important issue:

Penn’s Valentine's Day card.

It was a very nice card, I reminded herself. Better than any of the store-bought or half-assed homemade cards he was probably going to get today, that was for sure. More to the point, it was from me.

A Valentine's Day card. From me, Sashi. His female best friend.

My face heated up. Lots of friends gave each other cards on Valentine's Day, it happened! I had nothing to worry about. I'd give Penn his card, and it wouldn't be weird in any scenario, it could be just a friendship thing.

Yep. Just a thing. Between friends.

I sighed. Who was I kidding? There were only two people that spent nearly the whole week before Valentine's Day working on their cards, and those were either arts and crafts fanatics whose life revolved around glitter, paper glue, and safety scissors; or people who really, really, _really_ didn't want to just keep on being friends.

I'd promised myself I wouldn't worry about it last night, but now that I was _actually_ about to do it, I couldn't help but worry all over again. Should I just bail out at the last second? Was this really as good of an idea as I thought it was when I first had it? Would things really end with the “just between friends” note worst come to worst, or would this be the start of a whole string of awkwardness and ruined friendship, all because I tried to give Penn a card on Valentine's Day instead of confessing to him any of the other 364 days of the year?

“Hey Boone! Hey Sashi!”

If I hadn't been so rigorously trained, I would have jumped out of my skin and screamed. Instead, my eyes just immediately darted to the familiar sight before me, Penn with his stupid adorable irresistible dorkiness in full force, as usual.

Inside my head, the red alert started blaring and everyone at the control center started screaming, panicking, and prayed to whichever higher forces would listen.

Outside, I just blinked and it looked like I was so lost in my thoughts it took me a few seconds to realize Penn was there.

Penn smiled at me. “Something the matter, Sashi?” He asked.

Oh good god, how could anyone look so hot and so dumb at the same time? It's just not fair! And you know what's more unfair? That he was also legitimately nice, sweet, and charming! There's gotta be a rule against being this perfect!

There'd be time to ponder that later, though, so before I could say anything stupid, I thrust out the Valentine's Day card I made for him.

Penn looked legitimately surprised—and why wouldn't he? I didn't do Valentine's Day for all my life until today—before he smiled even brighter and took the card. My heart started pounding triple time, my face broke out in a cold sweat, my brain doubled down and prepared for the most intense and dangerous thing I'd ever done in my entire life, worse than all of the fights I'd gotten into combined.

Penn flipped open the card. He read the message I'd sweated and stressed over for _way_ too long, looked up and smiled at me again. “Aww, a Valentine's Day card for me? That's so nice of you, Sash!”

Not exactly the response I was hoping to get, but I broke out in a grin and called that a success anyway! “Oh wow, this Valentine's card has made me realize my dormant feelings for you and now I'm going to furiously make out with you right now to make up for all this lost time.” was pretty unrealistic from the get-go, anyway.

“Fitting, too, 'cause I got you a card, too!”

My grin disappeared. Oh no. No, no, no...

After all this time worrying and suffering over the card I was going to give him, I forgot Penn always gave me a Valentine's Day card—a very nice Valentine's Day card, might I add! The very first one has a permanent place in my heart: a card that looked as much as a raw, bleeding heart taken from a monster's chest as a much younger Penn could make it.

Every year, it's been no less creative or inventive, and every year, I'd wonder what the heck he'd come up with this time—excluding this year, because I'd been so busy making his.

My heart started racing all over again, the sweat started pouring down my face, and my the people in my brain screamed and ducked for cover as things weren't as clear and safe as they'd thought they were. I stared at Penn, stamping down on my horror, tried to look genuinely surprised and eager, but I think I just came off as “desperately trying to avoid a brutal, painful, and merciless fate.”

Penn turned his attention to his backpack, slipping it off his shoulders and dropping it down to the floor. It made a pretty heavy thud, and was strangely loaded for Valentine's Day--it was one of those holidays Middleburg always took time out of school and work to celebrate. I wondered what could be inside as Penn pulled out my card.

Only it wasn't just a card—it was a box with the card on it.

A heart-shaped box.

I was not prepared. I was not prepared _at all._ I wasn't so much standing on my own two feet so much as I had frozen in complete shock, and somehow hadn't ended up fainting or in a position that'd lead to me falling down or awkwardly slumping off in any direction, hopefully not into Penn.

Penn held up the box like it was the most precious, delicate, and important thing in the world. He looked at me, probably saw the panic in my eyes, and his smile changed, turning down just a little on the edges with worry.  


Oh no. Oh god. Was he confessing to me, too? Should I just turn around and bolt? Or would that ruin the moment I'd been dreaming would happen for all this time, making me a coward, a hypocrite, _and_ an idiot?

There was only one way to find out: I mechanically took the box to him, and flipped open the little card attached to the box.

“ _To Sashi: dark and bitter on the outside, sweet and wonderful on the inside.”_

I blushed. I looked up at him and shot him a questioning look.

Penn eagerly gestured for me to open it. I did.

Inside was several neat rows of bite-sized chocolates, contained in a heart-shaped tray, every last one of those treats looking _amazingly_ tempting. My mouth watered as the scent hit me; a mix of the always good smell of chocolate, and something more exotic and sweet.

“Your favourite kind: assorted berries covered in dark chocolate!” Penn explained. “I actually debated just getting the regular box because holy _cow_ the Valentine's version of it is _way_ more expensive, but, you know, presentation and it's only once a year...”

I looked up. He had that dorky smile on his face, only this time, it was even more adorable, irresistible, and not stupid in the slightest.

I think my heart skipped a beat. I probably stopped breathing for a few seconds, too.

This was the most perfect moment of my entire life.

“Welp, enjoy, Sash!” Penn said as he knelt down to his bag. “I've got tons more cards to deliver before first period!”

I looked down and caught a glimpse of red. Lots of red. Red from dozens of Valentine's Day cards, though not as elaborate as mine.  


Penn stood back up and slung his pack back on his shoulders, still smiling.

I had three different impulses right there and then:

One: throttle Penn, grab him by the shirt collar, then start pounding his head into the floor until it finally got through his thick skull that I was interested in him.

Two: smack him upside the head with the box of chocolates, preferably with the whole thing breaking on impact so the candy would come flying out, leaving him standing there dumbstruck while I stomped away.

Three: scream “I love you Penn!”, drop the box, then furiously make out with him right there and then.

I didn't get to do any of that as Penn bid me and Boone a quick goodbye and went further into school.  


I stood there, holding that box of chocolates in my hand, the card flipped open so I could keep reading its most definitely “just between friends” message.

Boone had spent the entire time just to the side, attempting to telepathically transfer his thoughts into Penn's brain, silently and subtly pointing him to the realization that had thus far eluded him, and cringed as Penn obliviously, cheerfully walked away.

“Hey, Sash…?” Boone reached out to me.

“Don't.” I spat. His fingers stopped a small distance from my shoulder. “Whatever it is you're going to say to me, either more teasing about my crush on Penn, or legitimately trying to comfort me, just… _don't.”_

Boone nodded and sheepishly shuffled off.

I ripped open the cover of my chocolates and started shoving them into my mouth by the fistful.

If it was any consolation, they were _delicious._


End file.
